home free

Well, I made it back okay. We basically started at 2:30 am (Alaska time), and ended up at 7:30 pm (Alaska time, again) for you folks in KS, it means we got up at 5:30 and finished the flights at 10:30. Once we hit Anchorage, we got back into snow.

I like traveling with grandma. I would have been lost in Seattle if she hadn't needed a wheelchair. As it was, there were no available wheelchair's, so we rode in one of those annoying little tour carts...Zipping around the holiday traffic like they were standing still (which most of them were). It has to be a Murphy's law that no matter where you land, your departing plane will be located on the other side of the God forsaken airport.
We hit Anchorage at 5:50 and had to be on the flight to Kodiak before 6:10. By calling in a TON of favors, we made it, but our luggage took the leisurely route and came in this morning instead.
It didn't really bother me, I have an entire apartment that I can scrounge up clothes, but Grandma was getting a bit testy about not having anything too clean in the morning.

The first person I saw when we landed in Kodiak was my friend R. (He works at the airport when he's not recovering from something or another. (this last bout was staph infection) I waved at him through the window, and he ended up helping Grandma down the stairs to the wheelchair we got her (it was icy, dammit. I wasn't going to chance it!). I'm blessed with wonderful friends...All over.

I ran into R.'s brother S. Today. S., Mel, (you know, ;) ). He gave me a hug 'cuz he finally was let out of the "Dark side" <-- his name for the back rooms of Safeway, where some doubt they'll ever see the light of day again. He's working all the time, or working on a relationship. The relationship is with a girl he hooked up with when he first got back. More power to him. He's still someone I like to see.

I didn't like Vicky when she first started being around Toby either, but they seem to be doing okay, and Vic turned out to be a person I kind of like in her own right.

Hello!

Mel called! My friend does read this!

I'll get a hold of her tomorrow though. I didn't get much sleep because I was up all night coughing (I've had the Kodiak Crud for a month now, and I'm trying to will it away) And I'm a space case yet. I was supposed to go to the "Cousins'" dinner today, but it was canceled...Oh well, their loss.

I missed PEO too. :( That I would have woken up from my nap to go to the meeting. Lem Lem, I do want to see you...Thursday?

I just got to see my old Youth Sponsors youngest kid...he didn't see me. Kid's taller than me (Which isn't saying much), but considering I dont remember him being older than one...it was quite a shock.

Now what?

I'm here. I want to go hunt up Mel and Aryn, and Brandie. But that's about it. I hafta tell Aryn about a girl up in Kodiak that makes earrings out of porcupine quills. Pretty classy otherwise.
I wanna talk to Lem about a few things that I might post later. Dad's coffee buddies (retiree wannabees and husbands of Mom's best friends) all want to see me tomorrow. They want to pin the cold weather this week on my arrival in Kansas.

Oh, ye of short term memories. I took 100 degree temeratures all the way through Canada when I left...you'd think they's be greatful.

Flatlandia

After almost two and a half years of avoiding this place, I stepped foot in ICT airport this afternoon.

Newsflash...it's still flat. A lot bigger than I thought it would be, but I've been living in a pretty insular world on the island.
Two years have seen some changes, a lot of houses have sprung up on the south side of town, the folks' church now looks like a shopping mall, the local Braums looks less like an ice cream shop and more of a mini-mart...they took down most of the trees near the middle school. That kinda torqued me, it was always a good place to get away and hide...which was probably one of the main reasons it was cleared.

I already feel trapped. And I'm only here for a week.

jobs

I picked up my third job this month in an attempt to drop the coffeeshop job. It's harder to do than I thought. Tips are addictive. And the shop has all the ties to my social life. Two of my customers offered less stressful jobs, and I took them.

Tonight I tried writing my resignation to the Shop, and I got maybe 3 sentences into it when almost everybody I enjoyed came in. So I put the letter up to do later on tonight (which may already be too late...scheduling goofs and all). On the way here, I was clocked at 57 in a 45. the officer that pulled me over one of my first two customers in the mornings. (also the only one to hunt me down and give me that moving violation back on May). He barely even gave me a warning.
Gave me a lot of shit though.

why does this happen when I want to say "Screw it!" and quit?

ZZZzzzZZZ

One more unique thing to Kodiak: Most thru streets have the right of way, yet Mission street has a stop in the middle to let Bobby Benson run straight into a guard rail.

The reason is simple: Black ice is a requirement here. BB Road is coming off of the hill. Now you can slide through the intersection without it being illegal.

ugh.

What in the world posesses me sometimes? I just picked up a third job. I SO want to leave the coffee shop behind, but every time I get ready, something else falls through.
Alaska is just way too expensive to live in sometimes. I have a friend renting to me at less than half the price of the going rate on the island, and I still can't afford to take a couple of weeks off to be in Kansas (to remind me of why I left).
It's wierd. My brother flies back to KS even when it's not a great idea, maybe to re-affirm where he came from. I wanna fly back to see all of my frinds and Thank God I don't live in that cesspool anymore.

living in alaska

You learn things no matter where you are.
There is this new truck commercial, where a guy throws a fish to get a bear out of the road. Have you seen it? It's mildly funny, but it takes on a different life depending on who you see it with.

My friends and I saw it Friday night. These were the comments:
"Daddy, why is he getting the salmon out?" ( R.'s 5 year old daughter)
"Is he HIGH?"
"Take the other fish, at least."
"Another tourist dies tomorrow...."

We ended up playing poker instead of Halo, but it was a nice change. Actually, the guys played, I watched. It will probably be another two poker nights before I buy in. I like to get the feeling of the game. R. might have picked up on that when I watched him and G. play Burnout3 one night. we started the xbox up at 9 and I didn't ask to touch the controller until around one a.m.

Come to think of it, I did that in Baltimore, too. I watched Rook games for about three weeks before I joined in. Now, out here, there's so damn few mennonites that Rook is out of the question. I wonder at times what they'd do if I dug out a game of Dutch Blitz.

Asked out

Heh, I got asked out this afternoon. I actually gave this guy my phone number, wondering all the time what state of mental breakdown I was in to rattle it off to him.

Maybe something will happen...at least a dinner.
Food. the ultimate bribe. I thought it was guys that were supposed to be led by their stomachs. I don't like to eat alone, and often have toyed with the idea of inviting an odd friend to lunch on Fridays.

I met the guy a week ago, in the liquor store. Here's me holding two Fischer's bottles (I don't like to drink alone either), and him carrying a case of Alaskan amber...and we're wracking our brains to come up with a clean joke for once. After honing my skills on funky jokes for years, it's harder to do than I thought. We even talked Bible stories...in a liquor store. <-- ;-P

Well, we'll see. I've gotten a lot of enjoyment out of describing the guys who've asked me to dinner/coffee in the past, from paranoid schitzophrenic (talk about an eye for details!) to just plain creepy. I dunno where this guy falls yet.

employment

I didn't go for the librarian job. walked into the job service center almost completely unprepared- compared to the others that were in there doing the same thing. So I chickened out. I didn't feel right about it, and when that happens, the very core of my being starts to shake until I just have to get the hell out of wherever I am.
I really don't call that chickening out too often. It's usually good sense. I was vibrating like a plucked harpstring until I reached Colby, Kansas, the night I left. Okay, so it was being a chicken. But I could leave, so I did.

Anyway. my folks's prayers were answered, in a way. The day of the deadline, things were slow at the furniture store, so I didn't have to work, which opened up my entire day. the opportunity was there to take, I just chose not to. (But I thanked God for giving me the choice). I just don't feel comfortable enough yet to try my hand at being a snarky librarian again. At least on this island, I know it'll come open again eventually.

So, God opened up another window. I start training at CostSavers on Wednesday morning. I'm not ready to give up either of my other jobs yet, so I let M. know (Of course, by tomorrow, I might be ready to shove the job.) that I still want to work for her...I just don't know the scheduling details yet. R. told me to tell A. that I could work anywhere, and R. would work around him. He reminded me that my job was basically there to give him a day off...and since he is a workaholic, my times could be moved around.

Costsavers could be full time, yet let me out of the shop by 8 p.m, if I closed, and I could sleep in 'til 7:30 even if I open. And I'd get a real lunch break again.

Actually, cross your fingers again and pray that this is going to be something worthwhile. I'm going to try and put in a 13 hour day tomorrow (which WON'T last for long if this is the right deal. )

Eventually, I'm gonna have to go back to one job. I just want to be the one to make that choice, not the employers.

New Orleans

The talk of the western world. Been there, spent a week in the Square. I was telling my cousin the other day that NO has survived two devistating fires, a bout or two with Yellow fever, and not a few hurricanes. It will struggle out of the damage again. Changed, but still New Orleans.

I can't talk about the loss of life now, any more than I could when the towers fell. There's a point I hit where I can't feel about the dead anymore. Kansas has its shares of natural disasters, and people die.

Boom.

Not on this plane of existence. Maybe on another, maybe not.

Let's go on. This might be a hiccup on the grand plan for civilization, and it needs to be dealt with. Give them their moment of silence and respect, but don't die along with them.

Heh heh.

Vida. The ups and downs that make life what it is. I almost ran the complete gamut yesterday.
Heart dropping from seeing one friend back with his ex, to averting the eyes when another came out from the shower without realizing I was nearby. <---Ooh, his wife got a kick outta that.

It's gonna take a little time before I stop blushing about it. Him too.

The first one bites because there's either something about the ex that I don't like, or there's a jealousy that I don't want to admit. I just want to see him with another woman to figure that one out. He does like us-- voluptuous -- types. *sigh* There's so few in the world that voice the fact that they like curvy ( very curvy in my case) women. then again, maybe there's more that just don't care. The last three guys that I dated were not skinny or well built in any way, the skinny one in my group was an asshole, and the "built" ones wouldn't give us the time of day anyway. But I would like one that... I dunno. I'd just like one at this point.

Summer's over.

And all my friends up here are leaving. H. went back to her hometown, to either patch it up with her hubby or tear it completely down. Either way I wish the best for her...but secretly, I'm giving her a year before the island pulls her back. It did me.

And it would give my friend R. a better chance with her. E.'s leaving on the 30th, and S.'s flying to Florida soon, to get hitched. Luce isn't so sure he's the best thing for her, and only time will tell. I kinda trust Luce's judge of character. Hell, she calls me her best friend...there's something in that, right?

Everybody else has kept their mouths shut (or I haven't heard anything else, which could be the case) But when S. was married, it seems like everybody hated his wife...and they were right, too.

There are days when I think Luce and her husband are trying to set me up with one of the guys from the group. While that is my usual M.O., I don't know if I'll be ready or not. Besides, I sat with all of the guys for breakfast once- and at the time, I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with any of them.

I'll be heartbrooken when they get their own girls, but I just ain't it.

Feelin' funky

I hafta keep remembering that this blog mentions my town...once in a while. I can't have my relationships (or lack thereof) take precedence, can I?

Aw hell. Sure I can.

The guy I kinda like just broke up with his girl last week. Or so the grapevine says. I know he was going to eventually. Ms. "Right Now". Everybody saw it as such. I saw the way to take him away...but I didn't. Why?

Mostly 'cuz I played the game once before, and could see how easy it is to manipulate it. I hate being the manipulator, it leads to some type of mental disorder, doesn't it?

or it justifies the symptoms.

Island life

There are days when I love Island life, and others when I don't. I was speaking to a guy tonight ( at a mutual friend's house) And we were teasing (?) about the stuffed snake that I fixed for the little kids. When I can, I drag it out and throw it at the guy. (There's just so many jokes people can make about a three foot long, purple-headed, one-eyed snake.) It's been two years since I've had much to do with a guy - on a one on one basis - and the one I was talking to tonight isn't even on my list. But we bantered, and I don't know what it narrows down to anymore. We didn't cross any lines, and I'm pretty sure I'm not high on his "ladder theory" either...but a make-out session wouldn't have been necessarily a bad thing. But right now, he reminds me of when I first met Brad. We just always hung out at a friend's house, and later on we eventually tried something. Dunno if I want to try that again, either. One thing I want to hold onto on this island yet, made the guy laugh. I want to keep my reputation of not having a rep. Okay, somebody might have seen me picking my nose in my truck the other day, but that's about it. With the exception of R. and M., I still wish I was born at least four years later than I was. I don't know why the reputation thing is that big, I guess I don't want to disappoint my uncle.

harumph

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not here long.

I'm just running through again. Next house-sitting starts up tomorrow. Wheee! A boa constrictor, two leopard gekkos (Leonard and Leona...go figure) two cats and a frog. Sounds good to me. I think I'm gonna go look for my Halo buddies now. They were in King's Diner this morning, but I didn't stop to chat. I forgot one bag of my groceries earlier at safeway, and I had to go get it. Yesterday, I didn't eat much, and I think it affected my head. I just now got over my headache.

Wonder of wonders

I have to admit this. as much as I love my friends back in Kansas, the group up here is awesome.

I almost lit onto one like I used to with Todd...that is one thing I miss, but I'll get there soon enough. Tee hee hee.

I just got back from my aunt's house a llittle bit ago, only to find a shitload of hershey's kisses wrappers all over the floor. Apparently the Schnauzer I'm taking care of got a hold of my newly opened back of PMS candy and went to town on them.
I guess she'll be okay though. After drinking up some more water, she keeps yuking up on the bedspread, and the toxicity level keeps lowering. Now the only thing I need to worry about is keeping her hydrated.
I'm only pissed because I was going to take a nap here and spend the night with the cats I'm caring for across town, leaving the dogs until 6:30 am. ( I locked myself out once, and found out they could handle it by accident, so I was going to take advantage of it this time). Now it looks like I might spend more time here tonite.
It's a good thing I bought the "Appleseed" movie to keep me entertained, I guess.

The toxicity of milk chocolate is 1:1 one ounce of chocolate to one pound of dog is fatal. she's 15 to 20 lbs, and I figure she and the Jack Russell split maybe 9 oz. of chocolate. she's yuked up approx. 4 ounces. Metabolisim half life for a dog is 17 hours. she'll be fine.

weekend fun

I got a little lost on the blogs. My mouse wasn't as quick as I want it to be and I thought I clicked on Garry's link, but I got lenny's blog. Oh well, It's all good.

I spent friday night playing Halo with a couple of friends (I consider them friends, I don't know what they consider me as of yet). I went four rounds before I felt my "Inner Crupper" trying to come out, and I stopped after I realized I just suck, and calling the people who whooped my ass "turds" was annoying me. Definitely an inner Crupper moment. I didn't want to get to the point of throwing things like Jason, so I backed off. I had a couple of kills in the first two rounds, and then I changed my name to "Target".

It's days like this

that make me happy to be single. Nothing bad happened, actually quite the opposite. If I had somebody with me I couldn't work my "7th sense" to it's full potential.

"7th sense"? Thats when no matter where you show up, dinner is being served. And damn, I'm good.

My cousin-in-law had a Memorial Day picnic (held inside of course, due to rain), Hamburgers and Brats and about five different things to do with salmon, and s'mores (not bonfire made, but still sloppy) and cake (leftover from last night's graduation party). It was good.
Even better was when I left my cousin's house, I didn't want to back out of the driveway because it was so crouded (The bump and stop theory of driving is a little costly). So I wandered next door to my friend's house. Her bunch was having a get together with Salmon steaks and about 25 pounds of crab legs.

Screw crabfest. Memorial day dinner is the way to go. I'm stuffed, and I didn't wreck the truck trying to leave.

Y'know

I've said this a few times this weekend, but I can't see losing the library job as a bad thing. God's been cranking out the blessings for me these past couple of months, and all I can think about is what He's got in store for me.

It's wierd. It's PMS time and I'm not freaked-out, insecure, neurotic or emotional. Now I can do the other things I was needing to do. And it helped that not a few of my coffeeshop regulars told me they appreciated the way I am today, especially since that was one of the problems I was having at the library.

I "was too friendly" with the patrons. WTF? I never brought any of them home for the evening. They meant that I couldn't just shut up and do my job. Granted. Only one other girl knows how to fix some of the computer problems, and I was always out on the floor...who do you think people would ask?

I just don't want to have the coffeeshop be my only income. They are great people, but they play little games thatI either don't have the interest or the energy to play.

Life is wierd

This is an excerpt off of SF. ( MM was right; we don't do enough of these threads)

!)Yes, I know that I'm using the shift button obnoxiously.

@) Crabfest finishes this evening, but for lunch, I get a BBQ pork-on-a-stick and a funnel cake. Aahh.

#)I'm house-sitting for two rag-doll cats this week, two small dogs the next three. And possibly two more Pomms after that.

$) It's 10;45 on a F*cking Sunday morning. What in the hell is Waste Management doing at the dumpster? GO HOME!

%)I was let go of my evening job this week. But with reason #3 looming over my head, I'm not terribly broke up about it. ( and my rent is almost 5 times cheaper than anywhere else on the island)

^)I actually paid for a henna tattoo yesterday. That's a little out of character for me.
&) I hate cleaning kitty litter.

*)I know I can't spell as good as I used to, and it irritates the bejeezus out of me.

()Lately, I have only been able to draw and come up with concepts when I'm sitting in a church pew. ( and pot-lucks make a great free lunch)

)) I think I'm going to put a "kiss my ass!" code around my henna tattoo. See y'all later.

Home?

Last night, I was asked a question that left me thinkng a little bit. An aquaintance, Dan, asked me this: "After being on this island for almost two years, at which point does Kodiak become home, instead of Kansas?"

I just grinned and told him "whenever I go back to visit my folks."

I'd like to test that theory sometime this year. Mom made mention that we could meet up in Seattle sometime this fall instead, but I kinda want to see the gang and maybe pop in on Charlotte and Homie for a bit, out at Norcraft. I wonder if I could just waltz back into the buildings, if I had my safety-glasses.

Teh mutton-heads

Yes, I said "teh". It fits with this post.

Here's my descriptions of the dogs I'm sitting for this weekend:

Sparky: the big white one. Rita calls him the only "stupid" one. He is an attention whore, that likes to lay on your feet, or in front of the screen door. More like the lazy one.

Chucky: the big black. A great boat dog, fetches constantly, and if left alone for a while, I have to entice him out from under the front porch. I like the name. It reminds me of the discworld game. "Chucky chucky chucky!"

Puffy: "Wheezy" can't go more than five feet without having to clear his lungs. Loves being petted.

Arly: aka Mini- me. She thinks that fetch means "Chase Me!" She is the one that was poisoned the other week, so there was extra attention paid to her, and she lords that over the others.

Mouska: Orange Pomme. Born with inverted kneecaps on her hind legs. She can scoot along really well. looks like a meercat. Wants you to chase her a few feet before you pick her up, so she runs in little circles, scooting like a seal.

now she's sodomizing the bear, too.

Geek attack!

Mel got my Hana-Kimi mangas in!! Okay, so I cheated and found an underground translation of all but the last book, but that's on CD. I was such a pest to her. I had to keep apologizing. Damn...My heart rate goes up just typing about the thing.

Pomeranians

I really don't understand people's fascination with small dogs. I just prefer something big enough to...say...Take out a full grown man. Right now, I'm pet sitting for five Pomms. They're great, don't get me wrong. But The best they can do is pee on somebody, or make them go deaf.

And the poor teddy bear. It's been sodomized by Chucky and Mini-me, the two black Pomms. I ignored Chucky's humping it in the hall, but Mini-me is a toy Pomm. The bear is easily twice her size. Her feet would leave the ground every time she'd thrust. I couldn't keep from laughing.

matryoshka

I'm looking at matryoshka blanks on ebay. I really shouldn't, the Lord knows I have enough ideas of how to put my woodburner to use. Ain't that the bitch of things? If I have the time, I wouldn't have the money, and while I have the money I sure as hell don't have the time.

rat poison

There had been a rash of dog poisoning going on here on the island. By Potato Patch Lake, there have been five dogs killed in the last two months, and there were another three by Island Lake. Last week, one of my friends had two of her dogs poisoned out in the flats. What I want to know is howcome the islanders know this shit, but the paper doesn't?

Damn it. Now I have "Coconut Telegraph" going through my brain.

Just popping in

Nuthin' much is going on, I'm just caught between really wanting to get cable hook-ups in my apartment, or just coasting some more without it. I don't really have time to spend online or watching South Park.

almost done

Got my phone line in today. Big Whoop. They wouldn't let me put in my name of choice, but the lady on the other end sniggered a little when I told her I wanted "Genghis Kahn" to show up on the caller ID.

movin' on down

I moved most of my stuff to the new apartment today. Couldn't get ahold of my cousin, so I called in some muscle. A friend I didn't even think about until I drove by the bookstore and thought of him. He helped drag my big stuff out of the upstairs apartment with a grin. "I've been here before, " he said. "This one and the downstairs apartment. One big party."

Eh, I shrugged my shoulders. It's a small island. If I was in my hometown, I could tell you the interiors or a lot of houses, too. When we got to my new place, his grin got even bigger. " 'Been here, too. Lot's of dope bags were sold out of here."
Like I said...small island. I just laughed. "I thought it smelled funny."

He's an okay guy. Blonde, blue-eyed, same body shape as Brad. I can't deny that I've thought about making out with him in a dark room...but the fact that he does share those same similarities (and I'm pretty sure he's hooked on my cousin, never daring to admit it) pretty much ensures that I will have to be desperate (and drugged off of my ass) before I make a move on him.

But the fact that I thought about it more than once probably proves that I'm weakening.

Kurt

Bloody frickin' Hell. Jeremy's death was one thing. Kurt's is a different matter after all. Kurt was shot and killed in my hometown on Sunday. I didn't even know he was back in Kansas. The last I had heard, he had quit the force and moved to Colorado. He came back in January.

I used to rollerblade to his office when I lived in Hesston. I doubt he knew I was the one who used to move all the road construction signs in the middle of the night....small town ;D . Most Newton cops are assholes. Kurt wasn't. (Byron really isn't either, but that's about it) I'm used to the officers here on the island, whenever they're in uniform, they are wearing their vests. Mary told me it's because a few of them out here have gotten popped. But Kurt's the first tragedy Newton police have had to deal with for quite some time.

My reaction was slightly different here from Jeremy's death. I know that shooter isn't going to last long, and I wanted to see the guy's house torched. It's days like these that I almost wish they hadn't caught that one cop beating his prisoner on tape.

Jeez. Hate runs deep and strikes at the most obnoxious times. That guy was a joke.

Off balance

Remember those growing years, where the kids' equilibrium is off and they're off kilter...falling all over the place because they're growing taller? Well, I think I'm in for a REAL late growth spurt. I landed on my ass again.

There seems to be a recurring theme. I just did a half-gainer at the coffee shop last Thursday, and this morning I landed on the only stair in my newest-albeit under sized- apartment. Life isn't fair. The coffee shop landing produced a slight darkening on my underarm, barely worth showing off as a war wound. This morning's splat has left a five inch burgundy piece of art on my left cheek, and I can't show it to a damn soul. Maybe I'll moon my aunt, but that's it. My roomie has a web cam...I could probably send a pic to mom.

That'd make her day. Hell, Lepus's butt is on the net, maybe I'd put a pic of the bruise on the SF...the group was clammoring for pics the other day. As a matter of fact, I think she put her pic up for basically the same reason.

Jeremy

A kid I know was killed in an accident on Friday. Well he wasn't really a kid. The paper said he was twenty-nine. My dealio is this. He really was an ass. I don't hate too many people, but this kid and his mother were exceptions to my rule. Is it wrong to really not be too saddened by not having him in this world any longer?
I'm almost happy about it.

In other places, there was a suicide in the Flatts this weekend, too. I think one of my trooper friends was the one to find the kid, because he was "technically" on leave on Monday. I didn't ask. Another coffee regular was on the phone line, I guess. He was taking it a little personally, but when your job is to talk somebody out of the idea, I guess you can feel you failed when you hear the gunshot.

It's not really a failure though. Sometimes it just works out that way.

Weather

The biltchslap has happened. Monday, everybody was running around in shorts--relieved that the snow happened before Easter like they predicted. That dusting of white was nuthin'. Tuesday, folks were still hopeful, but by Wednesday all hope for a garden was gone. It's been snowing for three days straight. I even overheard one of the sourdoughs Change the dead line of snow from Easter, to Mother's Day, as if this kind of weather can be explained and boxed into the "We knew it was gonna happen" category. Hmph.

Gorgeous, really. One of the local cops even got his Mustang stuck in the ditch by the coffee shop. One of my customers wanted to know if I could get it to stop. I told him I could put in the request, but I wouldn't be sincere about it. I missed the snow. That, and I was already killing mosquitoes on Monday. This weather should kill off most of them now.

The downside of this is that I fell in the shop yesterday. I was getting swamped with customers, and the kitchen help was either deaf or ignoring me, so I went to put out an airpot, and wiped out in front of a HUGE crowd of people. (1) Scraped my arms on the coffee bar; (2)put my guardian angel to work by making sure my chin missed the coffee bar--gawd, I would have never lived past getting knocked out in public--; (3) I made a great save of catching the coffee pot before it fell on me.

I started to feel like a train wreck last night. Today, I'm a little stiff, but it's not bad. The bruise on my left arm doesn't look half as bad as that time I fell in Silversprings, Co., but everybody winces when they see it.

Grace was never one of my selling points. That's one reason I don't dance.

ennui

Ennui:
A feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction; dullness and languor of spirits, arising from lack of interest; boredom.

Yeah, that's kinda it. I wanna post again on the 'funk, but I just can't seem to give a damn right now. I burned out of posting the other night, after emailing my mother. I wrote to her like I'd write in a journal, changing colors with every different subject I could think of, and being brutally honest about my feelings up here.

And she liked it! I figured that she would, but it still flips me out that she doesn't start preaching at me (too much) when I mention sex. I think she was biting her tongue when I mentioned about the woman teaching me to knit. She likes to adopt everybody, and I get uncomfortable at those types if people.
It's my father in me, I guess.

The knitter has some very-- peculiar--ideas about the love life of her son. She says the when he turns thirty, she'll let him read the Song of Solomon, and then she'll bring home the girl he should marry. She's basing it on the Hebraic way of things. The upside of this is that he doesn't get the "what about this one? She's nice" nitpicking that most guys get. At least for the next three years. It takes a lot of pressure off...but thirty?

I miss Homie.

Sometimes it just hits me that I miss a guy back home. He was happily married, has three kids and his younger brother was in my graduating class. But when I think of home, I think of Homie. It would probably freak him out that I almost teared up at the thought of saying good-bye to him when I left, he was just that great of a guy.
I put him in the same group of people as John-bear and the other guys in YES. I have a fondness for those fellas that is a different level than even how I feel about my brother. I'd happily put my life on the line for any of them. Thankfully, they don't need me to, and they'd never ask anyway. I love my brother, but I'd shove him through a plate glass window if he managed to piss me off...these guys, I wouldn't.

Yay! I finally finished my dividend paperwork. Took me long enough. Now, on to taxes, and trying to pry my w=2 out of Avis's grimy hands.

ISFP

I re-took the personality test the other day, when a bunch of my friends were out checking themselves out. I thought it was interesting that in the past ten years, I went from being an intuitive to a sensing personality. Then again it could have been that I was particularly stressed about my jobs that day.

Yes, I am an introvert. Me. The girl who can find someone I know in any town (Wichita, New Orleans, Kodiak, Newton) and name quite a few people in my hometown(s). Now the problem is that I'm spiraling into my need to be alone, and I don't know how to explain to my friends that I will be in my own world for a couple of weeks. I haven't created anyuthing in weeks. I do my best drawings at Subway after 9p.m., even if the inspirations might have a little to do with my friends' children.

My ex-boyfriend used to complain that I knew everybody in the world. Well, yeah. My world. He never let me know any of his old world...except for his immediate family.

countdown

I found a book at the library, written by Richard Pelzer, David's younger brother. If you haven't had a chance to read "A child called IT", I highly recommend that you find it and read it. The man is a miracle, and has a really..loving...look at life. I used the word "loving" 'cuz there's no real way I can explain this man's look on life.

In other nooz, Psycho B screwed up. All in good intentions, but she screwed up anyway. She saw the yellow stains on the carpet (like the stains tumeric would make) and ran to the bathroom, where she knew there were cleaners. In her attempt to clean up her mess (I'm pretty sure it was from her cooking) she used the first bottle she could grab. Well, the yellow was cleaned up, bless her heart, but she didn't notice the newer pink spots on the blue carpet. We narrowed it down that she grabbed the All-purpose cleaner...with bleach. Poor kid can't win for loosing. Psycho A was out of town until last night, and the first thing she sees is the pink spot. I swear, I could see the dollar signs popping into her brain. She apologized for yelling at me right off of the bat, but the house was left a little dirtier than she'd like and the idea of having to pay for a new carpet is having her hunting psycho B down like a full fledged locomotive.

Now there's a point one has to make between being a bitch and being understanding, but firm. Psycho A has refused to acknowledge the difference. Now I like her as a friend, and I think it takes a while for her to really admit a friendship, but I can understand why her kids are with the "lying, cheating ex" instead of her. My saving grace seems to be the fact that I'm hardly every home. I think I'm heading out to King's Diner in the morning, just to go through the motions of getting out of the house before 6 am.
The cop downstairs is one of my coffee regulars, and she was laughing over the realization that while both Roomies were out, I sure was home a lot more. ( heh heh, I neglected to tell Psycho B that A was gone for a few days...kinda sorta on purpose. She's sweet, but she doesn't shut up!)

I gotta get going

Just because. that's all I seem to be here for. Lunch is up at Mill Bay coffee, and my friends all know how to find me there.

Yes, I said I had friends. Surprises the hell outta me too. They all came out of the woodwork this week too. I think it was the sun. It's been warm here. But it isn't Easter yet. The snows don't come until the crocuses are in bloom. Alaska's that way. It lulls a person into the sunlight, then bitchslaps them with a ton of snow.

Psi-kick

Heh. I just realized those little vibes that have relays in Kansas work with my brother, too. I call them relays, because if my Aunt, who lives less than a mile from me thinks about either me or her kids, we feel an urge to talk to her. But my "feelers" take a day or two longer to react to my aunt. Partially because she isn't my mother, but I really think that her thoughts have to go to Kansas first-- by way of relay-- before they reach me. Mom's "feelers" come to me direct. And this week I've been thinking about my brother. So he called tonight. He was waiting on the papers to come for the route, but he called anyway. Which is good. That meant he could tell Ralph, Lula and Tony hi for me, too.

There are days when I really miss them. Lucie and Amanda are coming along great at being my friends, and I love their kids. Makayla came up to me the other night and patted my on the back. "You're my best grown up friend," she said. Who me? When did I grow up? I was the one telling her how to gross out her brother by talking about period farts. She's only ten, but she's gotten the class. I did to, I guess, when I was ten. More like eleven. But the period fart knowledge didn't come that early. Gawd, those things will peel wallpaper.

But I do miss the nights hanging out with Todd, Aryn, Ric, Brandie and the rest of the gang. But surprisingly, I still don't miss Brad. I lived with the guy for crying out loud. I should miss him a little, shouldn't I? I still get a feeling of relief that I don't have to focus on him anymore, and that's all. Once in a while, I miss having a body next to me, and an arm draped over my shoulders, but the body misses what the brain does not.

"Fragments of a love, that's all we had
What we had was fantasy, dreams and photographs.
Misguided memories, a pulse without a rhythm
and a song without a dance."

Ouch 2

I went to the dentist today on a routine root canal, and ended up getting my molar yanked out of my mouth like yesterday's abortion. The Dentist took one look at my crappy tooth, and said, "That has to go." I was a little torqued, because the pulp was in WAY better shape than the last two root canals. But most of it had broken off below the gumline, and a root canal wouldn't have held, the doc said. It was mostly roots anyway.

But the pain is topical. It's wierd, really. I haven't felt that much pain from that tooth...ever. The dentist can't figure it out. I was even on the verge of abscessing last week, and all I got out of it was a sore lymph node, on the outside of my mouth. the inside just feels like its been moved around a little.

Go figure.

I can't sleep.

I think it's because I know I don't have to work in the morning. I always seem to not sleep on the eves of my mornings off. I hope it's that, and not just homesickness. I still have the habit that I aquired back home of staking up 'til the crack of dawn. There's just no 24 hour truck stop out here.

But Family Guy is on... I can't resist its pull.

Posted by Rinty:

I can just see Endy in a few years...we'll stumble into each other and I can point at him and his kid,to my little one "See, Ferret? That's my friend Endymion and Muad'Dib is in tow. NOW do you agree that Ferret isn't that bad of a name?"
Maybe I'll name mine Duncan...but then somebody will start singing the Highlander theme song whenever he comes into the room.

Posted by sig: We arent naming our kids ferret.
You can name of the illegitmate kids you have with Preacher Riki Tiki Tavi.
Our kids will have normal names like John, Pete, and Thorax.


Posted by Rinty: Won't that be a bit telling? "...Riki, Tiki, and Tavi, the newest death metal band, had it's members dressed up like Chip 'n' Dale...the Yensid version, folks, not the Strippers. Along with their managers, Thorax and Lorax, the Seuss twins..."

Geesh. there are some days I wish I could actually pull another account at StereoFunk. I thought that was kinda funny, but I can't vote for myself.

ouch

Today, I feel like I was in a train wreck. I knew I laughed about the fall, but having it take two days before I felt the pain is just annoying. I gotta get off of this thing and go look for a job.

And I think I have an abscessed tooth again. I can never tell with this particular tooth. I thought it had abscessed two years ago in the form of a sinus infection. Now, my jaw is a little swollen, and nothing else. My other abscesses laid me out in tears.

V-day

Oh Geez, Now I remember how I spent V-day. I tried to block it out. My friend at the local porn/head shop was bored off of her butt and called me to bring her a chai. Good excuse to get away from my boss. I stopped to feed and water the animals on my way to deliver the drink, only to slide on a loose board on the porch and land my ass in the mud puddle where the dogs run. And my foot was caught between the boards on the porch. I was amazed that I didn't break anything... I didn't even sprain it! All those years of falling down must have been practice.

Needless to say, I showered and had to start laundry before I could hand her a lukewarm chai. And all I could do was laugh about it.

So, not only did I not get lucky, I was watching the other lonely pervs wander through the shop.

The joys of house-sitting

I am so glad I'm not on the house right now. Roomate A found out yesterday that Roomate B slept with Roomate A's ex-boyfriend recently. She had to call me at the coffee shop to find out if I had known anything about it, since Roomate B talks to me more. I know why she called. On one level, it was because she thought I had inside information once before, and had called me two-faced for not letting her know that a roomie was having trouble coming up with money for rent. She just wanted to make sure I hadn't done it to her again....by her way of thinking. I could have cared less. It's not two faced to me. Josh was having no luck in the job department, and Roomie A had scared him off.
John wouldn't talk to her because she pissed him off.

I can care less about this situation, too. She'd already broken up with the guy. She just wanted to know if it was before or after she finally quit talking to him. Who gives a sh*t?

Whee!

Six years of mooching computer time are nearly over. I bought me a Latitude last night on Ebay. The guy called me today, from Florida. Poor kid, had to wait till 10:30 pm his time to find me. Closer to $600, but it will be worth it, I hope. whatever I can't figure out, I can bug Eddie R. to help me understand it. I think it's a bit much for me, but the kid had a good phone voice, and threw in some upgrades for me. Who am I to bitch?

Went to church today, first time in months. No lightning strikes, but my pastor just had to bring up Lent. He's Baptist, I didn't think he'd care. "What are you giving up for Lent?" One little kid tried to give up school. Me? I just bought a computer and I work at a library. Asking me to give up reading or my computer right now...I shudder to even think about it. Let me get the damn thing first. Maybe I'll give up the PS2. Not to hard, considering that I havent brought it on my last few housesitting gigs... I doubt that would cut the mustard either.

Just what I need

More ways to waste time at the computer. Thanks, Sig, for helping me find this place. Maybe I can keep the good stuff on the SF for now. I'd really hate to lose the friends I've built up there. Well, it's not as if Elftown wasn't enough of a blogger's paradise, that I have ended up here to wast more espacio preciouso. Lo creo es porque you no puedo decir no a mas [typing]. And Ican switch between my languages when the feeling moves me.

Deal with it.